Macaroni's Monday Musings: Why I Hate Watching Races

I had the opportunity of watching two of my favorite teams run in big cross country races this past week. I got to go and cheer on my high school team, Canon Mac Big Macs, at the WPIAL championships at Cooper’s Lake, and I got to go and cheer on my current college team, Slippery Rock, at the PSAC championships all the way in Kutztown, PA.

At both races, I was running around like a crazy person, yelling my brains out trying give them as much encouragement and help as I could from the sidelines. But I couldn't help but feel so weird after watching both of those races.

Don’t get me wrong, I love going out and supporting my teammates. I love it when they run great races and go out there and conquer the goals and expectations they put on themselves.  

But I hate how I feel during and after watching the races.

As an athlete, I am not partial to being a fan. I want to be out there and involved in the race. I want to be involved in the hugs and high fives after the race. I want to be able to tell stories of my perspective of the race on the van ride home. I want to feel that exhilaration that comes after conquering pain for 26 minutes. There is camaraderie between teammates and competitors after races that is so genuine that you would have never thought they were just trying to kick each other’s butts for the last 26 minutes. It’s a brotherhood because it was a group that pushed each other to their limits. It’s a sense of gratitude.

And during and after these races, I miss that. Missing those feelings causes me to regret, over-think, and blame myself for how I got that role as a fan to begin with.

And I will nip this in the butt right here, I do not regret what I did this summer. And for people who think I should regret it and think that medals, Nationals, and glory are more important…well, may God have mercy on your soul. I learned more about God, life, relationships and community this summer than any season of my life combined. I met so many amazing people and kids that it blew my mind. I got to see God’s beauty in a place in such a great way. God used this opportunity to teach me so much and use me for the work He is doing. It taught me that life is not running and school, but it is in Christ alone. He planted seeds in me, and maybe I’m still trying to figure out how to make them grow, but if I would have never had that experience at Seneca Hills, they would have never been planted.

I would be a crazy person to regret that. And yeah, running has suffered. I let people down. Could I have done more with running this summer? Maybe…but the more and more I get into training now and looking back, I really believe I could not have done more.  

So I think a mind adjustment is in order. I will still never feel totally content as a fan. And the rest of this season will still be hard because I want to be out there racing with my team.

But I will be content as a supporter, a teammate, a friend, a brother, alum, that crazy guy yelling his brains out and not wearing a shirt on a freezing day.

It is the role God has put me in for this season. No amount of regret or blame will change that. And for now, as I am in the thick of the process of training for the indoor season, I will use that energy God will expose me to as an energy boost to get me through the grind of life and to stay passionate through all situations. He also uses it to make us realize that we cannot take anything for granted. God wants to use every moment of all of our lives to better His kingdom and make Him known, no matter what the role or circumstance. This life is not about us, It is about HIM!

So to summarize…Things don’t always go your way in life. And for that I say, Thank God they don’t!!!!

Summer Training 2013

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. ~Romans 8:28

My past summers in high school and college all have had the same purpose to them. The main purpose of those summers was to train for the upcoming cross country season. I had summer jobs, of course, but they just served the purpose to collect a paycheck. They were pretty comfortable summers and I never had to embark on improving other people’s lives, just my own. In past summers, I would be a slave to my own routine; running at the same times, eating the same things at the same times, interacting with the same people, etc.

I also neglected to test myself spiritually and now that I look at that, I missed out on a lot of time getting to know God. During the school year with all the school work, deadlines, meets, and other extra- curricular activities, it is easy to get in a spiritual rut and just go through the motions with prayer and reading the Bible. But all that extra time in the summer would have been a perfect time to focus on my relationship with God and study the Word so I could take what I have learned to help shine God’s light on campus brighter.

Well, let’s just say I have the privilege to do that this summer.

I will be spending this summer as a camp counselor at Seneca Hills Bible Camp in Polk, PA. At Seneca Hills, there is no WIFI, no cell phone reception or television. But replace those things with high ropes courses, climbing walls, zip lines, 9 square, camp fires, and most importantly praising God and sharing the love of God with kids 6-18 years of age.

This is my main focus this summer, to share the love of God with these children. It is my job to let them know that they are loved by the Creator of the Universe and that He passionately wants to have a relationship with them and spend the rest of eternity with them.

Cross Country training for the upcoming season is secondary. To be completely honest, I don’t know how much I’ll be able to train or how far. Of course this is a little nerve racking considering my routine of past summers of constantly running, running, running. I trust that God will take care of this area of my life, if it is in His will. Potentially, this summer could be the perfect solution to my over-training problems the past 5 seasons. I can assure you, I probably won’t be looking like an All-American runner at the camp week tempo this year, but maybe not focusing on running this summer will allow me to peak better and be at my best when it counts in October and November.

All things work together for His good for those who love God and trust in Him and I believe that this opportunity this summer will work together for His good. I do not know what the summer will hold, but I can only hope that this summer will be a summer of challenges, faith, worship, strong relationships, growth, and FUN!

If there was a word for nervousness, excitement, anxiousness, freedom, faith, and fear; that word would describe how I feel right now. I know God will be with me and His presence will definitely be ever-present at Seneca Hills.

So here’s to the Summer Training 2013!!! Goal – The Higher Prize in Jesus Christ!

That I may know Him, and the power of His Resurrection, and the fellowship of His suffering, being made conformable unto His death; If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead. Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 3:10-14

I Can't Get No Satisfaction!

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. For they shall be satisfied.” Matthew 5:6

If I were to describe my personality in a word, “satisfied” would not be a word I would use. You could say my innate tendency to push the envelope has been the reason for many of the problems in my life. And being a runner does not help with this tendency because we do not really know how fast a person can go. And, unless you believe a human being can run a 0 second 5k, we will continue to be unsatisfied and try to test our limits.

Because of those mysterious limits, we continue to push the limits in training. This is how overtraining happens. This happens because we question our training and work and think we can get closer to the red line, thinking that we need to do more. But then we end up crossing the red line.

We want more, we want more, we want MORE…but the weight of the “MORE” weighs us down, makes us slow, makes us exhausted.

Most of the time, we think MORE = Happiness but actually MORE = MORE Problems.

The problem of MORE has crippled our culture. Obesity, debt, war, vanishing resources, selfishness, divorce, etc., are all problems because it is not in the human condition to be satisfied.

Jesus said, “Blessed are those who HUNGER and THIRST.”  This theology totally goes against our natural way of thinking. But what does He want us to be hungry and thirsty for? Food? Water? Entertainment? Sex? Money? Acceptance? Faster Times?

Righteousness.

And since, as humans, it is not possible to be righteous on our own, Jesus died so that we may be righteous.

Our only way to righteousness is God.

SO, Jesus is saying to hunger and thirst for God and what he wants in for our lives. And Jesus promises that if we do this, we will be SATISFIED.

Is it really that simple?

Yes! God does not change. He is the most we can get. He is the most there is. He made everything! There is nothing more than God.

Now, the world DOES change. We have to constantly keep up with the world. And that can be exhausting.

However, God will walk WITH me. I don’t have to chase Him. He is always here. Not going anywhere.

Satisfaction in God is like that feeling of climbing a mountain and finally reaching the highest summit. Looking over the landscape and having the satisfaction of knowing we no longer have to climb.

And because we have the satisfaction of reaching the summit, we can go back down the mountain and confidently help others get there too!

Let’s throw away our will and focus on the will of the Lord. Because, let’s face it folks, fresh water will run dry, food will run scarce, natural gas and oil will run out, we can eat ourselves into a heart attack, and it is not possible to run a 0 second 5k.

Let’s focus on God’s never-ending love and grace spread the satisfaction He brings to the masses.

In the material things of this earth, moderation is key. We can run too much, eat too much, etc, etc.

But we can NEVER get too much of God.

 

Fight or Flight?

The fight or flight response has always been a concept that has baffled me. Back in the days of primitive man; before IPods, cell phones, computers, processed food, and even the light bulb; the fight or flight response was man’s way of defending against harmful stimuli. Back then, harmful stimuli meant saber tooth tigers, saving family from danger, or any other external situation that called for instant adrenaline or physical survival.

But in 2013, the fight or flight response has taken a new meaning.

It has taken the form of overthinking, nervousness and anxiousness of things that may happen or may not happen. Most of the time, this inaction takes the place of action. A student may worry so much about taking a test that it psyches them out to the point where they don’t even study; where if they study, take the test, and just not worry about it, they will probably do better.

In the world of running, or even sports for that matter, this phenomenon is how sports psychologist’s feed their families.

I have been training this particular track season for almost 24 weeks. 24 weeks is a long time and if I am training for 24 weeks, how am I not in shape? How have I not PR’ed, how am I getting worse?

The answer to this question is: my mind.

My fight or flight response has instructed me to worry, overanalyze, and back down. Instead of just doing the right things, supporting my team, getting the work done and enjoying the recovery, I have over thought everything to the point where my mind has thought me out of shape.

To really be honest, running or even sports for that matter mean nothing.

The fact that playing a game or participating in a competition that has no real impact on the betterment of society is a real value, or even the meaning of life to some people, is pretty ridiculous in the big picture.

The ancient man ran because they had to get away from hungry tigers. The fact that we worry ourselves sick about running to simply see how fast we can cover a certain distance is laughable. Let’s say I don’t ever PR again; this doesn’t mean I die. If I don’t run away from the tiger, I’m dead. And I would even go as far as saying the ancient man didn’t even think about whether or not this tiger running after him was going to kill him, he just ran as fast as he could and looked for the nearest cave to hide in.

So, we got 10 days till PSACs. These past 24 weeks, you ate what you ate, you ran what you ran, you lifted what lifted, and you slept what you slept. Nothing, NOTHING, you can do can change that. No matter what you do, you cannot relive and fix a past mistake. Move on and just do. Realize where you are at, enjoy the taper, control the things you can control and leave the results to God.

Run like the ancient man. Run as fast as you can until you see the finish line.

Run for the people who DO run because of fear. There are people around the world who would beg for the opportunity to get to race carefree around a state of the art track; however they have to run to run to school, run to eat, run to drink, run to survive.

Run to give thanks, for a life we don’t deserve and we squander each and every day.

Run for a God who forgives. That even if we come in first or last, we will live with Him eternally if we believe and trust in Him.

Run for your brothers and sisters, family and friends. I believe nature or nurture goes both ways. Our nature is determined by the nurturing of others. Think about that the next time you see a cross. Without God’s nurturing, our personal potential means nothing. Without His purpose, our flash of a life REALLY is insignificant.

I pray that I don’t worry about PSACs, I pray that this 10k/5k double doesn’t leave me lying awake the night before overthinking my training and wondering whether or not I have it in me.
It’s just a race. My life doesn’t ride on it.

But the opportunity in this race is endless. The opportunity to glorify my Creator, the opportunity to let Him control my destiny is something He relishes; the opportunity to leave the results to Him and just do what he instructs me to do is pleasing to Him. The fact that He can take something as meaningless as a run and have it praise His name is a miracle. And the fact that I have over 9 MILES to do this on a track, that should be a blessing in itself!

The fact that if we run in His name with praise, gratitude and unafraid; it is the cake, the icing, the sprinkles, the ice cream…its everything; all that really matters.

A breakthrough season performance --- well, a little cherry on top would be nice.

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Phil 4:4-7

“I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.- Eric Liddel (Chariots of Fire)

 

The Transformation of a Running Paradigm: Post #1

As I lay here writing this first of (hopefully) many blog posts the series of the next 100 days, I can't help but feel fear. Fear for the future which is manifested from the regrets of the past.

What if this transformation fails?
What if the flame burns out?

Questions of over-thinking...this is a re-occurring theme in the life of this budding paradigm.

You may ask, What is a paradigm?
It is an example. I want to be an example. Not a motivator. Not a life-changer. Just an example (that may stir motivation and change lives).

An example of what?
A generation of people who are so passionate about a purpose, it is scary.
Res Severa Verum Gaudia -- To be serious is its greatest joy.
I no longer want to settle for a little flame. I want a fire. A huge fire. A fire that is so large not enough water in the world can put it out.

I want to no longer live in fear.
Of testing myself. Of loving. Of trusting. Of failing. Of learning. Of leading. Of serving. Of challenging. Of vulnerability.

My mission statement is to be the paradigm of a life that gives God glory. That means no longer aiming for material goals or human standards, but measuring myself against the standards of my creator.

Hint: He takes NO off days.

Always full boar.

Realizing that when I pray at night and ask God to change the world and ask him to do something.
He says, "I did. I created you."

I believe God gave me running as a way to be a testimony. To be a Running Paradigm. To show his glory through running. To train as God wants us to live. Like we are jumping off a cliff KNOWING he will save us.

If my main purpose in this transformation is to give God the glory, I believe I won't fail. Because all God cares about is if we are living and doing our best for his glory. If we do that, he will supply our needs. He gives us our limited edition, holy water flavored Gatorade. The Holy Spirit is the only electrolytes we need.

The training perimeters behind this plan are as follows:

1) Doubles, Doubles, and more Doubles - Hebrews 12:11-13
For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.

2) Self Control with Mileage and Workload - This is marathon, not a sprint! - 1 Corinthians 9:25-27 - Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

3) Nutrition - Body Composition!! – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20- Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

4) Attention to the little things - Striders, Rest, Core, Hurdle Drills, Stretching, etc... – Zechariah 4:10
“Who dares despise the day of small things, since the seven eyes of the Lord that range throughout the earth will rejoice when they see the chosen capstone in the hand of Zerubbabel?”

5) Not quitting when the going gets tough - because it will! Keep your eyes on God!
Isaiah 40:29-31 - He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Joshua 1:7 - Be strong and Courageous!!! - don't turn from it right or left, that you may be successful in whatever you do!

Isaiah 41:10 - So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

6) Accountability with teammates and friends - Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

7) NO TANGIBLE GOALS - JUST A PURPOSE! RUN FOR GOD!! #RFG - 1 Corinthians 10:31 - So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

8) Stop looking at Flotrack and Track Reporting Service! Read the Bible and pray instead! The competition is the world; the competition is a challenge of spiritual endurance. The goal is unfathomable faith! If God is for us, who the heck is against us!?

Psalm 27:1 - The Lord is my light and salvation, WHOM SHALL I FEAR?? The Lord is the strength of my life; OF WHOM SHALL I BE AFRAID??

And that's it, Hope everybody has a fulfilling semester! Study hard and run reckless, do not fear.

Cause in the end, what is pain?

French Bread.

In Christ,

Travis

Stay HAPPY during Finals Week...and the rest of the year too

This is something we should all remember.

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready. As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window. I love it,' he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy. Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait. ”That doesn't have anything to do with it,' he replied. Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged ... it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. 'It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away.. Just for this time in my life. Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my Memory Bank. I am still depositing.

'Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.

2. Free your mind from worries.

3. Live simply.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less.

Live and Learn - Learn to Live

"Now, I'm the only reaper of the seeds that I sow and when I walk the field of my stubborn will, It's a hard row to hoe. There's a price for getting smarter so I pay what I owe. While bridges burn let the  shadow fall behind me, I am wiser I know. We live and learn, always living and learning." - from Michael W. Smith's song Live and Learn

Life is a roller coaster of peaks and valleys. To appreciate the straightaways and the downhill thrills of this roller coaster, we have to endure the uphills that come our way. For most, these uphills in life create a challenge of hopelessness and despair. Some even try to avoid the uphills, just staying on flatland. We don't grow stronger through this because those uphills build our strength. We stick in the rutt until we die, never growing, never maximizing our potential, never taking any risks, never reaching out to others; just playing the waiting game until we die.
We all do this. This is now the culture. In 2012, this is looked upon as normal and acceptable. In 2012, we are born to get an education, to get a job to retire; and we retire to die. In 2012, we play for safety. We play for stability. We don't maximize our potential because the uphills are simply uncomfortable. Since our culture avoids and looks down upon these uphills, they are a rocky road; dark and lonely. I'm so guilty of this. I consciously and unconsciously avoid situations in which i'm taking the road less traveled upon. I dodge situations that are unfamilar, for the shear fact that i'm afraid of failure and making a complete fool of myself. I'm afraid of being alone and missing out too, even when I know I could be doing something better. This is a constant struggle that I compete with daily.
The thing is though, I know i'm not alone.
These uphills create foundations and the battle scars. They have the power to improve our quality of life and create a legacy that improves the quality of life around us too. They make our minds stronger, our hearts mightier, and our faith deeper. Through these uphills, we learn quite a bit about ourselves. Because when you put your heart on the table, you can see what your made of. We become wiser and through our wisdom, we have the ability to help others through their journey and let them know what it takes, so that our culture can escape the rutt.
Spring Semester 2012, I created some battle scars. I am wiser and ready to put my new found knowledge into practice. The journey is nowhere near over, but I think i'm at a new level in my growth as a man. God is standing there at the finish line, and i'm ready to put my all into this race in his glory and finish in his arms.
So, this summer, take a risk. Take a chance. Run so hard you puke, then come back for more. Reflect. Love. Communicate about everything. Believe in yourself and others because you believe and trust in God. Aim for success. Learn from failure. Embrace the pain of the uphill. Live and learn to learn to live.

An engaging temptation had me doing time. 'Cause when it starts a fire under strong desire
we are partners in crime. But hindsight is clearer. I can see where I've gone and never return.
It's a new man in the mirror.  It's a new freedom song to live and learn.